Stress-free Technical Production, every time. Guaranteed.
The Clownfish Cocktail
We’re seriously
shaking things up
Pour away your preconceptions about ‘technical production’ (we know you think it’s complicated, stress-inducing, and about as dry as a dry martini). Your event is meant to be a celebration – so we’re less ‘Mai Tai’ and more ‘Your Way’.
Think of us as the bartender that’s been listening all these years. We’ve heard your big worries. Over and over again. What if the microphone doesn’t work? How much lighting is enough? Will the video buffer on the day? I don’t understand anything on my quote. How much should this cost?
We think, for too long, industry giants have got away with average-to-poor event production; both in the lead up and in the event itself. We’ve all sat through conferences where the tech didn’t work and the message became compromised. You endured serious-hassle, half the audience couldn’t hear the speech, the new corporate video was never shown and ultimately you didn’t get the event you paid for. But the AV company still received 100% of the bill? This isn’t right. We’re here to change all of that.
So, we’ve gone back to the kitchen and mixed up our signature blend to shake up this archaic industry, in every single way. We call it The Clownfish Cocktail.
And we promise, it will leave you stirred, not shaken. Or, your money back. Here’s how we’re mixing things up.
Here’s how we do it.
The Ingredients
Our money-back guarantee.
Ingredients are the heart of a cocktail. And so here’s our game-changing message, straight from our heart.
We’re so confident in our tech, our team, and our recipe, that we take away any ‘risk’ for you. We literally guarantee our ingredients. Yes, this is the industry’s first money-back guarantee.
Someone can’t hear your audio on stage? We’ll refund it. A video doesn’t play? You’ll get the screens for free. Can’t see the person on the stage? You won’t pay for lighting. No quibbles. Just simple assured business; how it should be.
Technically flawless events. Guaranteed. That should give you some Dutch courage.
The Equipment
Our commitment to using the best.
Cast aside the cocktail shakers – we’re talking tech now.
The ‘Old Fashioneds’ can stay on the cocktail list; we spent the pandemic seriously upgrading our tech (after all, we had time on our hands too).
We’re a top-spec company only. We exclusively invest in and partner with industry-leading technical manufacturers. We’re talking the same d&b audiotechnik speakers used in the Royal Albert Hall; the Clay Paky and Portman lights that illuminate everything epic from Coldplay to the Venice Film Festival; and Blackmagic Design 12k cameras that film Netflix shows. All owned, stocked and maintained by us. You will always have the best of the best. Plus, we only ever buy brand new (we’d never risk second-hand kit for your event).
The Cabinet
How We keep our equipment perfect.
We never let anyone else touch our stuff; we never ‘dry-hire’. Whether it’s our Angostura bitters or our Samsung 75” LED Displays, we keep our cabinet locked away from unknown and inexperienced hands.
In fact, unlike others, we even ban ‘trade-to-trade’ hire. Only our specially trained Clownfish technicians use our kit. That leaves us with the best protected equipment in the business and keeps our promise to you – our promise that our equipment is always perfect.
The Base
You’ll only work with our Team.
Every good tipple starts with the right base. And ours is solid.
One of the biggest bugbears with tech companies is the amount of freelancers, third parties, and agencies they use. And all these ‘middle people’ lead to lost communication, lack of ownership, and crazy fees.
That’s not us. When you work with Clownfish – you work with Clownfish.
We’re not an agency. 80% of our onsite technical team will always be our full-time team (and if that’s not possible, we won’t accept the job). That means if you come to visit our showroom, check out our equipment, and get to know us in advance – you’ll meet the very same team, working with you on the day.
NB: you’re more likely to be served coffees than Caipirinhas, but we will throw in some Hobnobs.
The Blend
pricing. how it should be.
Getting the right blend can be hard when you don’t know your bitters from your sours, or your Shure SM58s from your AKG C414s.
We’ve taken away the guesswork of those baffling price lists packed with technical product codes you don’t understand. We don’t bombard you with technical gibberish. Instead, we’ve blended our unique Flat-Fee Packages.
You just tell us what you’re doing and we’ll give you an all-inclusive fee.
Need a stage, screen, and lighting for 100 guests? Ok, that’s £10,000.
Need some extra lighting or mics for a panel discussion – we’ll just throw them in.
Nothing’s hidden. Nothing’s extra. Nothing’s complicated. Everything’s served straight up.
And naturally, for events that don’t fit a bundle and require a bespoke quotation, we serve them too.
The Garnish
We’ll never upsell anything you don’t need.
We don’t throw every garnish at the drink.
You’ll never be upsold anything you don’t need. That’s because our sales team don’t work on commission, so they’ll never feel pressured to sell. That makes their day happier, and your relationship better – after all, every hour should be happy hour.
In fact, our sales team are ‘technicians first’. Their only brief is to bend-over-backwards to understand your brief, ask the right questions and guide you through a stress-free, technically flawless event. And they hold all the technical know-how.
The Taste Test
The proof is in the pudding (cocktail).
We’re the highest rated Live Event Production Company, with 100% 5 star reviews. And we’re doing everything we can to keep it that way. Have a read yourself and watch our real-life customer stories.
Real-life customer stories.
“It doesn’t matter which staff arrive, we always get the same service delivery. They work really well with our students, with our staff, with our guests as well too, and that’s really important in a school environment.”
ALAN FERNANDES
Bursar, Marymount International School
“It was so important to me that this event went well. It was the first awards event for the magazine… we had so much good feedback, the atmosphere was great, the production worked so well. I just couldn’t say enough good things about it.”
Suzie Neuwirth
Founder & Editor-in-Chief, Peer2Peer Finance News
“Our fundraising has gone up significantly, a really big step up in our income levels because of the higher professionalism that we’re delivering with these events.”
Chris Hickford MBE
CEO, The Eikon Charity
“What I love about the Clownfish team is their can-do attitude. Nothing’s too big a problem, it’s resolved and you end up really with what I would call a perfect event.”
Diana Sterck
CEO, Merton Chamber of Commerce
“I was completely chilled from start to finish and that’s what made the family happy because I wasn’t stressed. It just worked really really well. I can’t say how happy I was.”
Katie McCormack
50th Birthday Party
“We had to spend no energy at all worrying about anything working correctly … because of what Clownfish were providing.”
James Pickles
Sales Director, Toluna
“The biggest thing on the day was the complete transformation of the room… It was essentially a big studio before and they completely transformed it into what was an incredible gala dinner.”
Jess Valentine
Marketing Manager, Surrey Sports Park
“The Clownfish team really made the whole day happen in a way that enabled BECK to carry on and enjoy themselves.”
Jonathan Dart
Finance Director, BECK
“The young team at Clownfish energises me and makes me look forward to the event itself… it makes it a really fun thing to be involved in rather than full of just stress and worries and so on.”
Michiko Delucia
Manager, Shinnyo-en Buddhist Centre